I'm not what you'd consider religious but this bible verse feels very appropriate in summing up my life right now.
I wish I could make time stand still for a minute. I wish I could have my way and have a Christmas Eve exactly like the ones I used to have when I was a little girl at my Grammy & Grampy's house with my parents and brothers and my crazy great aunts. I wish everyone I love could be here with me one more time.
I've kind of avoided updating my blog in the last week because I didn't feel like I had anything positive to contribute to the universe right now. After all, this blog is supposed to be about health and fitness in my life but honestly for the past week I've physically done very little to improve my health and fitness.
But I've come to the conclusion that while I wasn't running or working out, I have been working on my mental health and I think that is a very important aspect of my overall health and fitness right now.
The reason I've been slacking is because last Tuesday my 91 year old grandfather was admitted into the hospital. He's been fighting congestive heart failure and various assorted other "old age" problems for about a year now. The amazing part is that prior to a year ago he was still living alone, driving and pretty much doing whatever he wanted. The last year has been tough as his health has declined and he has been in and out of the hospital but he is one tough old bird.
This past hospital stay was different. He had a "small" heart attack (doctors words, not mine...any heart attack seems like kind of a big deal to me!) and his kidneys are shutting down. Basically we were told to bring him home under Hospice care and that it is only a matter of time. So now he's home and he's comfortable.
So I've decided that for my mental health's sake, I plan to squeeze out every. last. minute. I can spend with this wonderful man. I adore this fabulous, stubborn, old fashioned, sassy man and I don't want to feel a minute of regret for time lost. Running and my body will forgive me for the time off. That's the beautiful part about running, it's always there for you.
I know how incredibly fortunate I've been to have this man in my life for almost 33 years because so many people don't get this much time together. I truly have be blessed.
Yet I can't help but wish for more time. I know that it's a selfish request. I'm pretty sure there will never be enough time. I'm asking for a lot right now, but I'm really, really, really wishing that my Grampy has it in him to spend one more Christmas with us.
So for now, the time I do have will not be spent on a treadmill or at a gym. It will be spent reminiscing and talking and making sure that someone who means the world to me knows that he means the world to me.
No regrets.
